Retreat!  (as if your life depended on it!) 

I have had the privilege of attending retreats, taking retreats, participating in retreats. I have been able to enter into spaces kept sacred and serene by the hard work of others who dedicated themselves to maintaining those spaces as a part of their own spiritual path. I loved it! 

Not everyone is situated or suited to the work of providing that space, but, for many of us, the opportunity to retreat from the world and reset is invaluable, even life or mind saving. How can we get it now when we are all working so hard and so many of us are already isolated, or far-flung from our spiritual community?

I pause to note that the word retreat comes to us from Latin, by way of Anglo-French and Middle English and is not too far from its original meaning: withdraw. Sometimes the word origins or the specific definition is helpful in this exploration, but perhaps not.

I find myself in a bit of a conundrum now as the pandemic has very much withdrawn me from the world, but yet not from the world at all. I am withdrawn from public space and easy in-person contact, but I am very much caught up in the world. I am constantly reading the news, or social media, or listening to podcasts. I'm online all day for work. I teach online and talk to friends online. I conduct rituals and meditation practice online. In those busy ways I am never withdrawn. I am worried about the climate and the invisible threat to my life in the form of COVID-19, and I am horrified by the rise of fascism and the unhurried approach to addressing racism by people I otherwise love and always need in my life. In those worries I am not withdrawn. I am enmeshed, entangled, caught up.

And yet, I live my life mostly in the space of my home and yard, in the company of my pets and my dearest companion, and a delightful amount of books and plants and candles and sand timers. This is an excellent place to retreat. But I am not, in my day, retreating. 

I am withdrawn from the public space yet enmeshed in the world. Where is retreat here? Where is that spiritual space into which I can withdraw?

I actually have some. I sometimes neglect it but mostly I maintain it. It is both physical and intentional and it does require work. 

Through no particular merit I find myself situated in the work of providing that space. 

My retreat is in my habits. My retreat is in my cadence of weaving spiritual practice into my living. It is not, I must emphasize, an outgrowth of some particular merit, or natural inclination. It is driven more by need, and by putting myself in a place to serve, and it creates a discipline that keeps itself going. 

I must have some peace. I must or I lose my mind. And in this historical moment of disruption I have patched some together. 

Just as the DCWC "went online" after the lockdown of March 2020, so too did other groups and services. I eventually found various forms of support and community. I myself provided support and community in the form of online rituals and meditation practice and the expectations of others helped me to maintain those. It helps me when I have a commitment. Those parts are obvious and whoever is reading this is already doing those things, participating in those things, or doesn't need them. But if you think you have to lead something, you don't. If you are showing up for an event or ritual you are a part of system that is holding space, maintaining rhythms, creating peace. 

What is less obvious is that I have been better at keeping my own daily rituals. I am home now. I can light a candle in the morning and let it burn safely out of reach during the day. I can maintain morning and evening rituals in that time-space that used to be a commute. I am engaged in my own monastic practice. It very much is practice. It is also retreat. 

For anyone unable to physically move to another, isolated space that is specifically maintained for a spiritual retreat, there is the option of atomizing the retreat and distributing it across your life. It is not ideal, it's not as effective as a weekend or a week in a beautiful place with no outside interference. But if your soul is nagging you to feed it, this might be a way. It does require discipline, and intention, and also it takes longer. You might expect that because it is broken into pieces and blown across your timeline like dandelion seeds, not held together in one delicious experience like a piece of chocolate cake. 

The first part of this process is to recognize the bits of your retreat that you are already engaged in. That's not just a prayer, or a song, or a clearing of your altar. That's you, engaged in your retreat. It matters and you're doing it! 

The next is to add in parts that ground you and keep you sane. What does a sane and grounding morning practice look like? Do you have to get up earlier for it? Could you do that? What about the evening? How do you release the day? Is there a prayer or affirmation you want to say for yourself, or to your Gods or ancestors? Would it help if you wrote it down? Is there something you do every night that you could add your own blessing to? Maybe when you lock the doors, or close the curtains, or maybe there's some kind of straightening up that you can add your magic to. If you've always wanted more of a spiritual routine, there's no time like the present to start. Technology can help. Build in reminders to your phone that delight you. Change one of your smart lightbulbs to come on at sunset, or sunrise. They can do that now. 

If you are already naturally doing those things, keeping the magic flowing in your home, what is it about a retreat that you could break a piece off of and put it into your day? Dig in and take yourself seriously, make a list or brainstorm, add things in or take them out until you find your rhythm. 

I'm asking this because we are in a time of such tremendous change, so much disruption, that I feel like we'll be better able to make it through if we dust off those practices that ground us, and build resilience for those time when we will be running on empty and no where to go. 

I have had the privilege of attending retreats, but not for a few scary years now and I am finally not looking for a return to normal, but rather for a different path to peace in the midst of uncertainty. I hope that everyone who is in need of retreat and cannot get there can find peace scattered across their days and their habits, enough to nurture them as we go. And if someone else sees you doing it, they may be able to do it for themselves, too. 

Peace of the mountains to you, 

Paulie Rainbow

founder: Druidry Centered Women's Circle