"Thoughts and prayers"

Following the latest mass shooting - it doesn't matter when you read this, and it doesn't matter which one, and that's the point isn't it? Because it absolutely matters as much as the whole world to the loved ones of the dead - but anyway, following the latest mass shooting I've begun to see the most strident, mainstreamed backlash against "thoughts and prayers" that I have yet seen in response to a shooting. That's what I'm thinking about right now. How to respond to the latest shooting; as a religious person, as a Pagan, as a Druid.

So, what about "thoughts and prayers?" In addition to being rejected as useless, or worse yet as being a block to positive change, thoughts and prayers may not be wanted by the people affected. Consent matters. I'm stuck at home these days, but I ask if someone would like me to light a candle, or send some energy their way. The answer isn't always yes. Then what do I do? 

Pagans tend to be an active group, preferring spells and wardings to passive supplication. Even more than passive good wishes, magic must be approached with ethics. 

I've been on more than one side of the issue. I have, in times of difficulty, experienced the strength that has come from the unwitnessed reverent focus of others. I felt it. I was strengthened by it and I was surprised by it. I have no way of knowing the religions of those who offered "thoughts and prayers" on my behalf, but I experienced only help, and not the alienation of being caught in beliefs that were not my own. I have been impressed by those experiences and from that have a positive view of offering "thoughts and prayers."

On different occasions I have been at funerals where the identity of the deceased was effectively and deliberately erased by the proceedings. The rites of death allowed the living to "correct" someone else's story. I have been at funerals where abusers were being comforted on the occasion of the death of their victims, where religion colluded with injustice and it enraged me. I have instructed my own loved ones to ensure that my passing is never marked with a cross, even by allegedly "well meaning" strangers. 

The arrival of COVID-19 uncovered a vulnerability that has severely limited my ability to be in the middle of protests, or council meetings, or legislative sessions. Making phone calls and signing online petitions just doesn't feel as effective. I know it matters, but it hasn't seemed to matter enough. 

"Thoughts and prayers" feel powerful. But the numbers of the dead keep rising, so I know they are not enough.

Perhaps the truth is that to be effective spiritual expression needs to be balanced by practical action. Maybe it's okay that I don't feel relief and satisfaction out of petitions and phone calls. It's still a part of the work that I can do. Maybe it's okay that my candlelight and passive entreaties don't change the visible world, because those gestures give me the grounding I need to do the other, less satisfying work. 

Sometimes the prayer I need is to be shown how to do my part and to be directed to the resources that make it possible for me to do it. 

Peace of the mountains to you,

Paulie Rainbow

founder: DCWC